For the last 4 years I have had one of my sons with me at work. It has been a tremendous blessing and joy for me to have Stanley and Simon with me during each of their first 2 years. I have been blessed beyond reason by the love and generosity of numerous students who have volunteered to spend time with my little one once a week from anywhere from 1 to 4 hours. I have been blessed by the grace of the CCH Board, as well as Roger and Matthew, to allow me to bring the boys and to even transform a catch-all room to a nursery/playroom. I know most women will not have this option. I thank God SO MUCH that I did and for how well it has worked.

Beginning this June the boys will get to stay home with a nanny for summer. No more rushed mornings to get everyone out the door in time. They will be able to relax and enjoy long summer days, enjoying their toys and the yard. In August Simon will join Stanley at preschool/extended care.

I will miss the joy Simon brings to the office. I will miss him screaming for joy while running across the lounge every time he sees me. I will miss seeing the students light up when he enters a room. I will miss seeing students and interns slowly transform from not knowing what to do with little ones to becoming a natural and even offering to babysit. I will miss connecting with girls and guys who love kids and watch my boys whom I otherwise wouldn’t get to know so well! Stanley and Simon have changed me at work. Yes, I have been less efficient, and my office has been even messier than before. But my ministry has been enhanced through these little boys who spread love and encouragement and who have helped me to connect with and love students in a different way.

Thank you Lord for these precious boys. Thank you Lord for this season of ministry.]]> Thu, 24 May 2012 11:52:44 GMT I have been married to Sue since 1974. We have been through a lot together. Great times, good times, mediocre times, sad times, grieving times, terrible times—and back to jubilant times. I was there with her, coaching her during the birth of each of our three beautiful little girls. And I was there by her side at the death of her father, and 30 years later, at the death of her mother. And she stood with me at the funeral and burial of my dad in November, 2010.

She is the most important person in my life. And by “person” I mean flesh-and-blood. So don’t think I put her before God.

It is when we are apart for longer periods that I seem to become most aware of just how much my life is intertwined with hers. Yes, I will confess it openly and boldly—I NEED her. And I really cannot imagine life without her. Last Wednesday Sue left with her youngest sister (and her husband) for a five day trip out to New York State to visit her youngest brother and his wife in their new home. Sue and her sister were really looking forward to being the first siblings to visit Jim and MaryAnne since they had moved from the Midwest to Southern New York State.

She left early in the morning last Wednesday. On that very afternoon our oldest daughter, Rachel, called me with some heart breaking and tragic news about a grievous loss in our family. Coming home to an empty house that evening was hard. And a week spent without Sue provided ample evidence that no matter how solitary I may be in nature, companionship feeds my soul in ways that “alone-ness” cannot.

And it reminded me graphically of what French philosopher, Paul Monet, once wrote… “A man alone is in bad company.”]]> Thu, 05 Apr 2012 06:35:35 GMT Old people. Many of you may know that I really really love old people. But what is it exactly that I love about them? First of all, I love their slowness. The sloth- like pace of the elderly is an annoyance to most people, but for some reason I feel giddy inside when I see an old person driving slowly down Lincoln Avenue or snailing through the aisles of Wal-mart. I just love their pace. Because of their ailing bodies and frail hips they truly cannot go any faster than that, so why be bothered? Also, their slowness reminds me not to hurry. Another thing I love about old people is their lack of verbal filter. I don’t know about you, but I usually think it’s hilarious when an old woman is being sassy or an old man speaks his mind. My philosophy is that they’ve lived on this earth for 80+ years and by now they’ve earned the right to unabashedly say what they think. I fully intend to take advantage of this rule when I get old. However, even though I can appreciate some sass or even crass behavior in old people, I also really like it when they are sweet. This is probably my favorite thing about old people. I love having the opportunity to sit down with an elderly person and hear his words of wisdom gained by years of experience in this terrible, beautiful world. It is especially endearing when an old woman pats me on the leg or takes hold of my hand while telling me some of the most precious life lessons that she has learned along her way. Old people, if they still have their minds and you’re willing to listen, can offer you some of the best advice and wisdom. Oh man, I do love the elderly!

But…my love for the elderly probably comes as no surprise to most of you. I know that many of you know how much I love old people, because you tell me stories about your interactions with them, or you send me picture messages of old people when you see them around town. It absolutely makes my day when someone sees an old person and thinks of me. I love that people have begun to associate me with old people in their minds. But even more so, I want my life to be associated with Christ. What I really hope is that when people observe me and look at my life they will say, “That girl loves Jesus!” I want my life to be associated not just with those who are old (or with any other thing that I enthusiastically like), but with the One who is the Ancient of Days. After all, I do love Him more than anything else in this world. Lord, may you transform me more and more into your likeness, so that when people see me, they see YOU in me. May my love for you grow more and more so that through my actions others may see you and love you more.

]]> Mon, 26 Mar 2012 07:25:46 GMT My plan for spring break is to get my Multi-Engine Rating. This will allow me to fly any airplane that weighs less than 12,500 pounds and has more than one engine. There are a few more restrictions than that, but we will keep it simple. Ask me if you want to know more.

(<--- that's the airplane I'm flying)

The place where I am working on my rating is a small, family owned business at a small airport that sits among some houses, apartments and a few other residential type structures. The people there are very much like a family. It’s fairly tight nit, and everyone knows everyone. I have now spent about four days at this airport. Some of this time has been studying while other times have been with my flight instructor. One thing that I noticed was that there is a lot of unwholesome talk that comes out of the mouths of people that hang around the airport.

Yesterday I was sitting on a couch waiting for my instructor to get back from his flight with another student. The owner of this operation, a man who is probably in his mid 60’s sat down and just started to “hanger talk” with me. Hanger talk is basically two pilots sitting around sharing stories and talking. This turned into being a small group of four or five guys sitting around talking airplanes. Throughout this whole conversation there was talk coming from the other pilots that was tainted with curse words and crude and sexual jokes. When you are surrounded by this, it can be difficult to not fall into the ways of the world and let the best become of you with your language and your actions.

Later in the day I was talking with my instructor and explaining to him about my love for flying, as well as my passion for Campus Ministry. He got a little grin on his face and said lets go for a walk. We ended up walking down to one of the maintenance hangers, there I met Paul. Paul is a mechanic who is a Christian. Even more, he is preparing to be a missionary Pilot in Guatemala. Of course our conversation was graced with talk of airplanes. What I found to be even more encouraging than that was how Paul talked about being the only Christian in a predominantly non-Christian/anti-Christian work place. This was made obvious by the “quick” exit by a couple of the other pilots in the room when we started talking about Christianity. Paul and I talked for almost an hour. We talked about the way he felt called by God to return to the airport. He felt God’s calling saying come and be a light there. Paul works daily in a place that is a challenge.

I was encouraged by what Paul was talking about. He talked about some of the opportunities he has been able to talk about Christ with some of the flight instructors, as well as some of the mechanics that he works with. He talked about his struggles that he has by working in a place that can be so negative towards Christianity.

What I really appreciated the most about this hour long conversation was Paul’s openness of his Faith even in a place that is not supportive of his beliefs. Paul, the mechanic, was an example of the words the Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Colossae in Colossians 4:2.

Paul, the mechanic, used his situation at the airport to do ministry on his own field. In what ways is GOD calling you to reach out and do ministry in your field? What may be stopping you?

I encourage you to pray about what it may be.]]> Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:15:28 GMT In high school and college I knew my life choices would not result in the “American Dream.” I was interested in social work, missions, or ministry, none of which were known for their money. I knew that my purpose in life was not to have fancy vacations, accumulate a lot of stuff, nor the large house to put the stuff in. I felt very free knowing material possessions was not my goal or reward. However, as I’ve gotten older I am regularly surprised by my desires for stuff, fancy vacations, and a bigger house. Something inside of me really wants that dream house! When I visit my 3 brothers’ homes (all dream homes) I have to intentionally remind myself that our home is perfect for our family and that a Haitian family of 8 could live in our bedroom alone. We do not NEED more, bigger, better, newer. We have everything we need, and MORE.

I have three beautiful sisters-in-law. Dionne is an amazing decorator. Brooke makes awesome picture scrapbooks for each of her kids and is great about regular Facebook status updates. Tina is super-fit and the youngest principle I know. Am I going to feel jealous or inferior or am I going to celebrate them while being grateful for the way God has wired me?

Do you find yourself making comparisons to others and feeling like everyone else has something that you don’t? It’s part of human nature. Consider Eve-- she could partake of ALL of the fruit in the garden but she wanted the one thing that she couldn’t have. So often in life that is just what we do. We convince ourselves that everyone else has --you can fill in the blank --a significant other, nicer clothes, a nicer car, a nicer body, better skills, etc . The enemy, who wants to steal from you, desires no more than for you to focus on what you don’t have rather than to be grateful and content with what you do have.

Contentment is a state of mind not a state of “having.” Develop this frame of mind now so that you can live a life filled with thanksgiving, peace and joy. Focus on the blessings in your life…even on the positive aspect of what you’re lacking. When it’s time to clean or keep track of our two boys, I’m so glad our house is small! “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8.]]> Wed, 22 Feb 2012 09:35:42 GMT Seventy years ago, Hannah Whitall Smith, wrote this little devotional classic entitled, “The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life.” The title might make you think that she believes that living as a Christian is all sunshine, flowers, and rainbows, with happy-little-puffy- white- clouds. And, that there is some “secret” formula that will absolutely guarantee that you will never again be anything but happy all the time if you only become a Christian. But you would be wrong. In fact, her reason for writing the book in the first place was that the dichotomy between the life Christians “ought” and “want” to live stands in such contrast to the life that Christians “really” live.

So, “dryness” happens. It almost never happens suddenly—all at once. Like a literal drought which creates a physical desert out of a previously lush climate, spiritual drought (dryness) creeps up slowly. It may come from laziness—like failing to regularly feed your soul from God’s Word, or failing to deal with insidious temptations before they erupt forth in sin. Or, “dryness” may come from weariness—life can come at you with a vengeance. Illness, grief, broken relationships, stress—all of these life situations can bludgeon you until you are completely spiritually fatigued. “Dryness” comes from any of a multitude of sources and influences.

You have probably been there. I have been there. Actually, I AM there today as I sit and write this blog. The one thing I do know, is that the “dryness” will eventually come to an end. If I will begin to do my part to reclaim the freshness in my spiritual life, God certainly will do HIS part to refresh, renew and restore me.

Actually, having written this, I am beginning to feel a little better already. Strange. Strange indeed.

]]> Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:42:37 GMT Recently I have been thinking a lot about what to do after this year of internship is over. As I think, a number of possibilities come to my mind. I could stay here at Eastern and do a second year of internship, I could pursue a campus ministry job on another campus somewhere, possibly even in another state, I could search for job in family services, the field of study in which I earned my bachelor’s degree, I could start an all girl band and travel the world, I could join the circus, or I could play the lottery and hope to win big (ok, a few of those may not be real options ). Anyhow, sometimes these questions and possibilities can really weigh me down. So heavy!

In the first few chapters of his book Hearing God, Dallas Willard explains an interesting concept about knowing and doing God’s will. He explains that God may not be so interested in giving us specific answers and instructions about all of the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, and why’s of life. Instead God is most likely more interested in developing in us, through the work of His Holy Spirit, the kind of character that makes good and wise decisions in everyday life; just like the father of a maturing child does not always tell him exactly what he should do, but instead teaches him how to make good decisions on his own. As I think about making big life decisions, I think this concept still holds true. If it seems like God is staying silent on the particulars of where I should go and what I should do, maybe it’s because He is leaving it for me to choose. As long as I know that it is my duty as a disciple to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, love my neighbor as myself, and make disciples as I am going out into the world, then maybe He is leaving it up to me to decide where and how to do that.

So, all this thinking about what’s next makes me think about vision. What does it mean to have vision? Where do my gifts, talents, and passions meet with the world’s needs? How do I discern my vision from God’s vision? Sitting on my bookshelf is an excellent book I read a few years ago called Visioneering by Andy Stanely. Through a study of the life of Nehemiah, Stanley writes about “developing and maintaining” a God vision versus a good vision. It is a great read, and I highly recommend it.

So, as I think about my own life, future, and vision, I propose a question to you… “What is YOUR VISION?”]]> Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:13:12 GMT Let me start out by having a small disclaimer here. My intentions for this blog are not to make it depressing, sad, or even a tear jerker. The reality of it, it very well may be a blog that does just that. I mean, who wants depressing news the week of Christmas right? Not me, but this is something that is Amber and I are dealing with, and I would like to share it with you, not for sympathy, but for encouragement.

Back in August, the week before school started, Amber and her family learned that her grandfather’s cancer had returned. Not only had it returned, it had spread and become much worse than it was before. This news came to a shock for the family as about a month earlier he was helping set up for a wedding!

Questions run through your head as to why, how long, what’s next.

The following months turned into being a bit of a roller coaster as well. Some ER visit’s that turned to be somewhat scary and frightening, as well as the frequent treatments for the cancer.

Thoughts ran through my mind as well as Amber’s. Things like, Will Grandpa be at our wedding? Will he be around for the holidays? What happens when the time comes? One thing we knew for sure, grandpa was dying.

No one likes death. No one finds pleasure in death. There is a tendency to be very selfish when death is upon us, selfish in terms that our loved one is leaving us and we are stuck here and we don’t like it. Now we have the hope that one day we will rejoice with them in Heaven, and that brings some light to a very dark time.

Now we are a week before Christmas, and grandpa is still with us. Now we find ourselves thinking about what if he goes now. The rest of our lives we remember Christmas as the time of year we lost grandpa. Again your mind becomes filled with thoughts.

While these last four months have been a very long hard four months, I have to say; I am extremely encouraged by Amber’s Grandpa. We express that we are sad that he won’t be at our wedding, but he reminds us that he will, and he will have the best seat in the house. We talk about how sad it is to see him dying, and he reminds us that it’s ok, this is the transition period to new life.

These last four months he has been an encouragement to me in many ways. He has simply reminded me and the family that he is going home. He even says that he is ready to go home, be with his mom.

It is a huge comfort knowing that a man of God is at peace with his death, and is even embracing it. The way he has embraced his death, the way that he looks forward to rejoicing in heave with us someday, all of that is extremely encouraging!

Finally, I find comfort knowing that I have a God who loves and comforts me. I find comfort in the fact that when Grandpa’s time comes, he will leave the physical earth, he will transition into new life.

Revelation 21:1-7 1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea.2 And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among themt,4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."]]> Mon, 19 Dec 2011 07:09:51 GMT Childbirth sure seems like a miracle. You have sex. Grow tired. Grow bigger. Grow a baby in your belly and breathe and push through enormous pain resulting in the most beautiful, amazing, tiny little baby. It’s just amazing and miraculous. This miracle happens every day. I pray you may partake in this miracle, as a mommy or daddy, in due time.

God becoming a baby: now that IS a miracle. Astounding. Bizarre even. Definitely miraculous. Last night I saw a huge orange moon, two shooting stars, and many beautiful Christmas lights including Old Main’s. We had Christmas open house at the Songer’s where we enjoyed one another, yummy foods, and sang Christmas carols. All in all the evening was magical. The Christmas season, when I slow down, reflect and enjoy it, is always simply…magical.

I do think it’s fitting that Christmas feels so magical. A miracle so amazing, birthed from such love, should feel magical. Enjoy the season. Enjoy His love as you celebrate His birth!]]> Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:06:57 GMT

My daughter recently had her first birthday. For her birthday I made her a wooden rocking horse. She didn’t ask for a wooden rocking horse. She didn’t really ask for anything, she was just turning one. But I’d seen her play with one and I saw the great excitement in her eyes!

Of course, she had played with lots of toys her ‘play-date’ friends had, and she liked them too. The plastic, loud, battery-using, sing- songy toys that always end up breaking in a few months...you know the kind. I could have bought her one of those. But I love my daughter a lot, and I wanted her to have, not only something that would last for years to come, but also something that would remind her of her dad. Something that would remind her of me not only when she played with it… but years later when this wooden horse is passed down to her own kids.

Matthew 7:11 says, “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gift to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gift to those who ask him!”

God wants to give us good gifts! He knows there may be bright, flashy things in the world that we think would make us happy for a little while, like the plastic battery-using toys my daughter thinks she wants, but he chooses to give us a gift that will last a lot longer… for eternity, and not just a gift for us, but one that we can pass on to our children. A gift filled with love, filled with everything that He is. A gift that reminds us of our Father every time we think about it. And this time of year, all the world begins to think about that gift. A gift that is so much more than a wooden horse.

However much I labored, in love, making that horse for my daughter, it will never compare to the total love we received when God sent His only begotten Son, as an infant, to this world to save us all.

As you give and receive presents this Christmas season, remember the reason we give gifts in the first place…. And remember Matthew 7:11

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gift to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gift to those who ask him!”]]> Thu, 01 Dec 2011 10:32:00 GMT