About a month after Simon was born I started reading while I was up with him in the night. Everyone else was asleep and I could have some quiet focused reading…while taking care of the baby. I actually began to look forward to waking up at 1 am and then at 4:00 am to get back to the book I was on. God challenged me and encouraged me through the books I read, particularly these three:

The Heavenly Man – The story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun. Brother Yun faced terrible persecution and repeated imprisonments for his faith in Christ.

I Dared To Call Him Father – The story of a Muslim woman who came to know and follow Christ, while being shunned from her family.

Brushko –The story of a young American as he sought to bring the truth of the gospel to an unreached, indigenous tribe in Colombia.

I had a cross-cultural theme going on. So often the “Christian culture” in the USA can be one of complacency and a lack of expectation. We try so hard to be relevant to our culture that we can become irrelevant to the Kingdom. Each of these books took me outside the US and challenged the way I live and the way I view God. They all testified to the miraculous; they all were personal stories of people who sacrificed greatly for their God. None of the people were” Spiritual Giants.” They all were fairly new to the Faith. I’m thankful to God for their testimonies which have challenged me to live for Him more fully.

I’ve also been challenged to pray: Help me to speak up and take risks for You. Forgive me for not expecting more from You. Thank you for the freedom I have to worship You, but help me to not be complacent.

Oh Lord, I want to seek you and put you first each day. Help me not to lose sight of the mission field you have set before me.

On May 28, 2010 Brad and I were blessed with our second child, Simon Bradley. I was fortunate to have 11 weeks at home for a maternity leave. For about 2 ½ months I got to be a stay-at-home mom to Simon and Stanley (2). And let me tell you…while I LOVED being home with the boys….it was WORK. I would like to say I loved every minute of it, but the truth is there were days when I found comfort knowing “this is temporary!” I regularly would ask God for an extra dose of patience. Every now and then I was a super mom and had dinner ready when Brad got off of work. But it was a full day just keeping the kids fed and their bottoms clean without having to be concerned with feeding Brad or myself.

Many of our wonderful alumni are stay-at-home moms. Their days consist of taking care of kids, shopping and preparing food, keeping up with laundry and dishes, cutting coupons and finding the best deals at CVS. To stay sane they arrange “play dates” and take advantage of toddler time at the local library. These women are ON and GOING all day. And I whole-heartedly admire them!

I COULD be a FT stay-at-home mom…but I’m so grateful for my ministry at the Campus House. I am now divided in my purpose of being a good mom & wife and being an effective campus minister. I know I was made for both of these jobs and I feel like I am a better mom because of my ministry at CCH. At the same time, I hope that my role as a mother adds another layer of ministry at CCH.

I always thought I’d want to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe I will down the road…I don’t know. But for now…I love doing it all. While I’m more busy, I feel like I’m a better mom and a more focused disciple. Coming back to work (besides getting less sleep) is, indeed, more restful.

So for all you girls out there who want to be stay-at-home moms… finish your degree and pursue your career until you have children, not only to have a backup plan in case your husband dies, but just in case you find yourself wanting to work outside the home because you love your job and, perhaps, to have a break from those precious little ones!

A year ago today my brother, Derek, and my sister-in-law , Tina, lost their baby at about 33 weeks along in their pregnancy. I am 33 weeks along this week and cannot imagine losing our baby. It was devastating and still is. After they discovered the baby had stopped living, Tina was induced and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. They named her Lizzie Marie Horner. How do people move on after such tragedy? They had so much hope for little Lizzie and the life they’d share together. It has been a hard road for Derek and Tina. Tragedy happens. There is no reason. I do not believe it was part of “God’s plan.” It’s just part of living in this fallen world filled with sin, disease, suffering and death. But there is hope.

Jesus came to defeat sin and death. He conquered death and rose from the grave. In Christ we have hope for a fullness of life today and the confident assurance (hope) of what’s to come after death. I look forward to meeting my niece in Heaven. I trust that little Lizzie is surrounded with love and peace. Derek and Tina have this hope available to them: hope that they may one day reunite with their daughter, and daily hope that they are not alone as they walk through the trials in this life.

We are not promised a pain-less, tragedy free life. We are promised that He will never leave nor forsake us. We are promised inner-peace in the midst of an unpredictable world filled with sin and suffering. We are told that this world is not our home, and that we are aliens in a strange land. We are not meant to feel too cozy here. We are meant to keep things in an eternal perspective. We are meant to live out this life for our King. We can walk through this life and proclaim boldly that no matter what life brings… whether it be a test or trial from the enemy or the Lord, or just a random part of living in a fallen world…no matter what hardships I may face, I will follow my King. My allegiance is to Jesus and nothing will change that.

“Jesus Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!” Stanley turns 2 this week and I have him trained to say “Jesus is King.” He places a HUGE emphasis on “King.” Jesus is the King of Kings. He defeated sin and death and gives us HOPE for a full life today as well as an eternity with Him, where there are no more tears, no more death, no more pain. Alleluiah to King Jesus, the good King who is our Comfort and Hope.

So far Brad and I have made it to the theater once in 2010 and we saw the movie Avatar. Science-fiction is one of my favorite movie genres, so I really enjoyed this film! But did you know that some people have obsessed over this movie? Why do people love Avatar? The special effects were amazing. But I think it’s something deeper. People long for the spiritual. People long to live in a world in which all life is considered sacred, a world in which we are deeply connected to Creation, and one another. Watching Avatar awakens the soul’s desire for deep connections to the Divine. Unfortunately Avatar’s answer to who the Divine is misses the mark completely. If only people could truly see our God for the amazing, loving, perfect God He is. Our God, His Presence with us through His Spirit, and the promise we have of Heaven far outweigh the beauty and glory presented by computer programs in Hollywood. Watching Avatar filled me with awe for a fantasy world that does not exist. Reflecting on Avatar filled me with awe and led me to worship our amazing God for who truly is God. He is not only God, He is truly good and better than anything Hollywood could ever imagine. No one can fathom His greatness nor the beauty and fulfillment we will experience in Heaven. My prayer is for more and more people to see Him for who He is, in His Glory. People could connect with the divine through Jesus Christ and find the One and Only Magnificent Obsession. And Obsession that fulfills the deepest parts of our souls, and a reality, rather than a fantasy.

Eccesiastes 3:11 “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

It’s a New Year! Most of my New Year’s resolutions in the past had to do with exercising. This year I’m taking a new approach. I am going to try cooking one new meal every other month. Every other month…that’s doable right?! Don’t get me wrong, I love cooking dinner. We just have a routine with certain meals that get rotated. Barbeque chicken and fries, spaghetti and garlic bread, frozen pizza, Cheeseburger Macaroni Hamburger Helper…and that usually gets us through a typical week. Lettuce salad or green beans usually accompany most meals. This semester Brad has 2 night classes so with my work schedule we’ll only have dinner together Thursday through Sunday. It may be difficult, but I’m confident I can achieve this resolution! And by the way, I am still planning on starting to exercise next week!

Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? If so, I’d love to hear about it! Go ahead and make a post!