Something about thinking about God’s grace during worship recently made me remember my season of rebellion.  That’s what I call it, because that is what it was.  I knew better.  Yet I knowingly made some stupid decisions.  I was really focused on myself and figuring out who I was, when I should have been focused on Jesus and figuring out who He said I was.  Needless to say that season came to an end, after which I worked through what Beth Moore calls, “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things,” which is a lot different than when uncommitted or non-believers do ungodly things.

Our God is awesome and has fortunately used my mistakes to help me to better understand and speak into the lives of people making similar mistakes.  One of the huge things I’ve learned and was thinking of again this morning is that we are not defined by our sins.  I was feeling the guilt of my former sins and I reminded myself that I am not defined by my sins.  No where in scripture are believers referred to as “sinners.” That is not our identity.  We are saints who sin, but our identity is not in being a “sinner.”  Our identity is that we are His.  We are in a spiritual battle.  Satan wants to beat you up and make you feel unworthy of God’s grace.  Satan wants you to be stuck in shame and guilt.  But friends, that is not the good news!  The good news is that Jesus redeemed us!  He paid the price and bought us back and made us his!  There is no longer condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!
 
In this war we are on God’s side.  We have won the battle thanks to Jesus.  We just need to hang in there.  There is NOTHING that Satan can do to get you on his side because it is your choice who you want to follow, not his.  The only thing Satan can do is feed you lies to make you feel like crap, to make you feel unworthy, to distract you from the truth of who you are.  Pure. Holy. A beloved child of God. You belong to the King.  You are on the good side.  You have purpose to glorify your God no matter what life or then enemy brings your way. Regardless of whatever mistakes you’ve made, whatever wrongs have been committed against you, or the sin you’re stuck in, what Jesus did on the cross was sufficient for you to be forgiven and free.  Know that truth.  Do not define yourself by your sins.  Define yourself by who you are in Him. Define yourself by whose you are and the mighty calling He has placed on your life: to glorify our Great God.

I have this little boy who wakes me up every morning. This is the best way to be woken up. We’ll hear him in the monitor chatting away with various syllables and then a resounding, “BAAAAALL.” It’s great. Every night Stanley sleeps with a tiny blanket, a bear, and a ball. The bear is just there, but he cuddles the blanket and grips the ball. I love this little man sooo much. Sometimes the love I feel is overwhelming, like raging waters that cannot be contained. I cannot express it. When I try to explain, it almost comes out more like fury. My love for Stanley doesn’t even begin to compare to God’s love for his children. I wonder if He delights in us the way I delight in holding Stanley before laying him down for bed. Of course He does! God’s love is incomprehensible. He longs for his children. Rich Mullins sings of this love as “the reckless raging fury, we call the love of God.” Now that I have Stanley, I understand what Rich meant.

Lord, help us to grasp your love. You love me more than I love Stanley. That’s crazy.

When you young ones are consumed with the thoughts of a crush or a new love, rather than beat yourself up over not thinking about Jesus as much as you used to prior to the crush… meditate on it. God is the lover of your soul. The great Pursuer who desires your love and attention. He wants you to notice Him. Do you think your love for your potential significant other is stronger than God’s love?? No way! God is even crazier about you! So Lord, you love me like this? Even more!

Lord, help us to grasp your love. You are more consumed with us than we could possibly be consumed with another person. Help us to grasp that.

Summer is both relaxing and busy. Relaxing in that we have a break from the many weekly appointments that typically fill the semester’s schedule. Busy in that this is our time to brainstorm, plan, and prepare for the school year.

Summer is a time to breathe, a time to make sure I’m growing personally, a time to remember and renew my vision for ministry. Summer is a time to read. Books for personal growth. Books for discipleship. Possible family group books.

I’m currently reading three books. I daily tote these back and forth from campus house to home so I’m prepared if I get the urge or chance for some reading.

Mudhouse Sabbath, by Lauren Winner. An easy read. Great for more background and understanding from a Jewish perspective on spiritual disciplines for Christians. Students, you’d enjoy this!

Unleashing the Power of Rubber Bands, by Nancy Ortberg. A great book on leadership. I recommend this to anyone who wants to grow in their ability to lead others. This has been personally energizing for me! Love it!!!

Every Woman’s Marriage, by Shannon and Greg Ethridge. I’m only on page 78 of 189. I’ll probably be working on this one for a while, which isn’t a bad thing. It’s good to have continual reminders of how to be a better wife. Good book.

Discipleship, Leadership, Marriage.

I also read the following books, at least weekly: The Ear Book, The Eye Book, The Foot Book, Mommy Hugs, Daddy Cuddles, That’s Not My Bear, Peak-A-Boo Kisses, and more! (To my son Stanley!)

What are you reading?

Recently while saying goodbye to a group of women, I was overwhelmed with love for them and gratitude from our Father.  By my 2nd year working here I learned this beautiful thing about love and mentoring.  Initially I may expect to connect with different girls easier than others.  I may anticipate liking some more than others*.  I even have been intimidated by some in the past, but after 2 semesters of building relationship, investing in them, and praying for them, I love them all with this special love.  I know them.  I care for them.  They become my friends.  The thing about love and mentoring is the more you invest in people and care for them, the more you love them.  And unlike dating, there is little to no chemistry required.  Sure, chemistry helps with the initial relationship building, but God has proven to me over and over that He is all we need to connect in a very deep and real way with others.

On this same evening a group of students laid their hands on the staff and prayed for us.  As time passed the hands got heavy and the room got warmer.  I couldn’t help but feel LOVE.  I love these people.  They love me.  God, THANK YOU for this way you reveal your love.  God, thank you for this life.   This was a slice of heaven.

I am overwhelmed with love:
For my girls whom I am so blessed to know in a special way.
For our God who loves me through these students.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude:
To my girls for making themselves vulnerable with me and sharing their lives with me.
To my girls for loving me.
To my babysitters who love Stanley and bless Brad and me.
To the rest of you who give Stanley love and smiles.
To the office assistants who make my workdays easier and deal with my sometimes bossy instructions.  J
To the guys and girls I’ve been able to dig into the Word with this year.
To Jesus, who is forever praised, AMEN!
To our Board and all our supporters who make this ministry (and my job!) possible.
To our God who has blessed me with this privilege of serving as a Campus Minister.

This sweet love, between me and my students, and that crazy way God loves us through other people; it’s just a tiny slice of heaven.  Can you IMAGINE the perfect, pure, holy, and truly good relationships and love we are going to share in heaven?  Can you IMAGINE what it will FEEL like to be fully known and to FULLY KNOW the Love of God?  What we have here on earth is just a hint.  I am so grateful for these slices of heaven. 

*Sidenote: I earnestly try to not to show favoritism…which seems to be about treating people differently (i.e. our actions, not our emotions).  However it is natural to connect with people in different ways and to, dare I say, have “favorites.”   Here is a list of my favorites:  Jane, Mary, and JUST KIDDING.  That would totally be showing favoritism!   And btw, I don’t have a list of “favorites,” not even in my mind.